The Erotic Confessions of Tyrone Abdul

some guy named Rick Santorum tried to suck my dick but I pushed him away because I don’t swing like that #Realworldproblems

DEAR TUMBLR FOLLOWERS,

I am not actually the president and also I’m not even a black man, so where did all these rumors come from!?

Yours truly,

Birick Obrama

Like the birds of paradise, I put on a complexly choreographed display to impress females, but instead of dancing, I mass e-mail fart porn pictures, cry, and pass out.

swag

A man in a black trench coat steps out from the shadows; “Some folks just call me… Zoo-pals”

The camera pans up, revealing a paper plate shaped like a pigs head tied to his face.

Nobody said anything about that video of spider-man slapping his dick and balls against his legs to make a loud ‘Splap’ sound, I noticed. Thanks Obama! >:(

‘I don’t hate women but ALL WOMEN ARE FEMINAZI CUNTS WHO WON’T DATE ME’

‘If I make a rage comic combining fifteen different memes I will no longer be a blight upon my family’

‘Ron Pauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllll’

‘Hahaha, Homestuck.’

‘Rape is natural’

‘Rape is really not that big of a deal’

‘I really like to talk about rape’

‘I’m sure the other watchers of this youtube video or players of this online game will appreciate me writing “REDDIT SENT ME” everywhere’

‘God is a lie’

‘I literally believe shutting down a board about the discussion of pedophilia and child pornography is the same as censoring great literature’

‘The N word’

‘I’m not racist, I just want to ensure a future for the white race. Also I want to kill black people’

‘Ron Paul’